David, your essay reminds me of one I once wrote that began. So-called “interesting people” is not an exclusive club. Anyone can enter because everyone is interesting to someone.
The degree of interest depends on what a person reveals of him or herself, and not of how much he or she shows. A striptease isn’t necessary. All you need to do is take off your shoes and await the results.
Yes, taking off your shoes brings risks, calls attention to the holes in your socks. But being “intentionally” vulnerable (because we are all vulnerable) could convince the other person to also take off their shoes. Once, when I visited Berkeley, many years ago, we met over coffee, and you took off your shoes, and showed me a hole in one of your socks,one which looked more like a pearl to me, and this made the get-together memorable, at least for me.
As I’ve aged, the risks of being intentionally vulnerable,now much clearer to me than when I was younger, have cautioned me about doing so. That said, I’ve found that taking such risks, even if I do so less frequently, brings rewards. After all, a pearl only has value outside its oyster.
The Art of the interview! It requires a certain kind of deep listening and a sensitivity to the ebb and flow. And the discipline to stay silent in the most meaningful reveals. That’s what often inspires the person being interviewed to elaborate, explain, and extend the revelation. I have to remind myself — often — to leave space for that to to happen with the mantra WAIT (Why Am I Talking).
David, your essay reminds me of one I once wrote that began. So-called “interesting people” is not an exclusive club. Anyone can enter because everyone is interesting to someone.
The degree of interest depends on what a person reveals of him or herself, and not of how much he or she shows. A striptease isn’t necessary. All you need to do is take off your shoes and await the results.
Of course, removing ones shoes may not always yield a positive reaction...
Yes, taking off your shoes brings risks, calls attention to the holes in your socks. But being “intentionally” vulnerable (because we are all vulnerable) could convince the other person to also take off their shoes. Once, when I visited Berkeley, many years ago, we met over coffee, and you took off your shoes, and showed me a hole in one of your socks,one which looked more like a pearl to me, and this made the get-together memorable, at least for me.
As I’ve aged, the risks of being intentionally vulnerable,now much clearer to me than when I was younger, have cautioned me about doing so. That said, I’ve found that taking such risks, even if I do so less frequently, brings rewards. After all, a pearl only has value outside its oyster.
The Art of the interview! It requires a certain kind of deep listening and a sensitivity to the ebb and flow. And the discipline to stay silent in the most meaningful reveals. That’s what often inspires the person being interviewed to elaborate, explain, and extend the revelation. I have to remind myself — often — to leave space for that to to happen with the mantra WAIT (Why Am I Talking).
Yes, short, open-ended questions usually are best. long involved questions leave little room for a response.