Memory Consensus

Most of the time, I’m the oldest one in the room, so when it comes to memories, mine reach back the furthest. So except when I hang out with my sisters, who can remember things that I don’t, or a few very old friends, the past is up to me.

It is also nice to be just a character in the memory of others as opposed to the being an aged family patrician and the sole custodian of the distant past.

I was almost 30 when my first child was born, and almost 60 when my first grandchild was born. That’s a lot of rings in the tree for me to try and recall when my descendants ask me specific questions.

Besides, the way I tell a tale is my way, not necessarily with any higher quotient of accuracy than anyone else who was there at the time — yet most of the time I’m the only one around. And of course, the more distant in the past an event occurred, the more our individual versions are likely to diverge, which brings me to the phenomenon of memory consensus.

Within families, communities, countries, cultures — even on a species level — we ultimately tend to reach some sort of consensus about the past, although historians, ideologues, contrarians and poets will continue to debate

And as much as I enjoy telling my descendants stories about my youth, I’m acutely aware that for a more well-rounded narrative, other sources ought to be interviewed. My version is only that — mine.

So as the saying goes, there’s your version, my version and the truth — and none of us is lying.

(This is a rewrite of an essay from March 2022.)

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